Why Triangle when you can Cryangle?

and was Mother Theresa a CIA Spy?

Welcome to Tap Nap & Snap - the newsletter that’s here to remind all of you fresh Blue Belts that the mats aren’t actually an ‘ocean’ - which means you aren’t a ‘shark’ either. So don’t get the tattoo.

Here’s what we’ve got today:

  • A Goat Vs Robot

  • A Triangle setup to end all friendships

  • Class warm-ups. You a fan?

Who’s On Top This Week:

This week we are back to the ADCC Open 23-24 Season Rankings to see what the biiiig units have been up to so far this year.

These are the athletes that you don’t want to have the ‘strength doesn’t even matter in BJJ’ conversation with if you run into them at open mat 🥵

Big Dan Manasoiu rests comfortably at the top of the men’s division, seconded by his New Wave chum Luke Griffith. Given Manasoiu’s recent performance at the ADCC Arizona Open over the weekend, I’d guess he ain’t movin’ either 😎

The Women’s 70 kg+ category is a bit thinner when it comes to active competitors, however, the last update saw Brazil’s Mariana Aparecida come out of nowhere to the #2 spot after a cracking run at the São Paulo open.

Rankings sourced from FloGrappling

What’s Happening On The Mats:

No one’s getting pasta Darth Rigatoni

Mikey Musumeci, the king of carbs himself, is on an absolute tear this year.

Taking time away from his real talent to throw a triangle armbar up on Jarred Brooks at the recent ONE Fight Night 13 event and retain his flyweight title, Mikey continues to show just how effective his style of jiu-jitsu is.

Even with his own sister conspiring against him this time round - he goes out there and get’s it done like a batch of fresh pizza dough.

Speaking of - in the era of athletes fine-tuning their diets down to the last calorie, Mikey has completely flipped the food pyramid upside down and must be making sports nutritionists wanna burn their books at this point.

Acai bolognese anyone? 🍝 

Drugs are bad mkay?

This is exactly why it’s important to tap early and tap often.

BJ Penn will undoubtedly go down in history as a BJJ and UFC legend but is unlikely to win any awards for his detective skills.

In his latest social media run, BJ has pegged Mother Theresa as a CIA spy… 🕵️‍♀️ Yep.

Now, we’re not going to just rain on any parade because it seems a bit wacky, it’s a damn wacky world sometimes after all, we are just out here asking for a little bit of evidence.

So far, it seems, BJ’s entire ‘secret CIA agent’ suspicion is built on the fact that her eyelid looks a little ‘odd’ in a single photo that he’s stumbled across #doyourownresearch

Personally, I think BJ is playing a smart game and is looking to unseat Eddie Bravo and his ‘space is fake’ theories from the top of the BJJ conspiracy pyramid 👁

Finally - A Robot Fights A Goat

One of the questions I’m never asked is ‘Where can I watch a robot fight a goat??’

Well, despite this fascinating query never coming our way, I’ve taken it upon myself to find the solution - ⬆️

In the clip above, Lex Fridman - the world-famous podcaster, A.I. scientist, BJJ blackbelt and a probable robot, spends some time on the mats rolling with who many consider the UFC Welterweight GOAT - Georges-St-Pierre.

Aside from laughing with pure joy as he throws Lex around like a chew toy, GSP also highlights some great grappling details as John Danaher quietly analyses and updates his algorithm from the sidelines (a definite robot) 🤖 

Do Less. No, Wait, Do More:

The Good Option:

The Silverfox Cryangle

You don’t become a distinguished ‘jiu-jitsu elder’ who’s survived years and years on the mats without being either super crafty or tough as nails 🦊

Karel ‘Silverfox’ Pravec is both. Crafty as nails you might say.

His aptly named ‘Cryangle’ is probably not going to make you any friends - unless, your friends enjoy choking on their own kneecap. In which case, I like your friends.

The Not-So-Good Option:

Pretending To Be Way Cooler Than You Are

What’s worse than being thrashed by a 15-year-old kid in a local tournament? Acting like a cocky idiot first 🤦 

The adult in this situation goes for the ol’ Nick Diaz ‘take a nap’ mid-match with the difference being - Nick Diaz wasn’t fighting a child. And also won a lot of stuff.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there is an army of 15-year-olds out there that would take me to school on the mats - which is exactly why I won’t be napping mid-match, I’ll save it for the finish when the choke is locked in.

Things That Keep You Up At 2 AM:

The warm-up. 

Some of us love it - some of us dread it. And some of us are liars that pretend we like it.

Keep in mind that when I say ‘warm up’, I’m not talking about 10 minutes of flow rolls and gentle neck stretches - I’m talking about 30 minutes + of burpees until your lungs burn, or hip escapes up and down the mat until you’ve worn a hole in it 😰

So - do you want a bodyweight workout with your BJJ membership? Or are you paying strictly to practice your jits?

Let me know ⬇️

This week’s big question:

Do you like a big class warm-up / workout?

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Last week’s results:

Last week I asked you - “Knowing what you know about BJJ now - could you have peddled Jiu-Jitsu to the world better than the Gracies?”

100% of you said - ‘Yep. I could have made BJJ way more appealing’

Boom. The people have spoken. Personally, I would have done something crazy like have heeeaps of children to make a family army of jiujiteiros. Oh, wait.

The Meme Open Mat:

What else is Danaher hiding huh? The truth is out there - maybe we should ask BJ Penn? 🛸

Weirdest bear growl I’ve ever heard.

Glad I’ve never done that.

It’s cool. It’s cool. It’s cooool.

Think you’ve got the spiciest BJJ memes going around? Hit reply, send them through to get yourself featured 🔥 

We Grow You Grow!

If you love BJJ, then you probably love BJJ gear - and, while you might love BJJ gear, your bank account most certainly does not.

From instructionals and supplements to training gear and BJJ events - the Tap Nap & Snap referral program rewards as you share us with your friends.

So, scratch our back and we will scratch yours!👇 (Note: the back-scratching deal isn’t one of the rewards…)

…and just you wait, there are Gi’s, rashies, supplements, seminars and way more to come!

Another Quality Read

Even though strength and size obviously don't matter in Jiu-Jitsu, sometimes it's nice to be able to open your own pasta sauce jar. These guys can help.

BarBend NewsletterThe BarBend Newsletter has all the strength training tips and fitness hacks you need (for free!) in a three-minute read.

How'd We Go?

Are we on the money? Or are we lacking some pizzazz?

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