📰 The Gauntlet: Stupid or Stupendous?

...and Cobra Kai is the best thing that Karate has ever done

Welcome to Tap Nap & Snap - the newsletter that thinks ‘the gauntlet’ is way too soft and you should actually just walk the plank you scurvy sandbagger 🏴‍☠️

While we’re at it - ‘aye-aye’ is cooler than ‘oss’ too 😎 

Here’s what we’ve got today:

  • Cobra Kai is the best thing that Karate has ever done 🥷 

  • The 4 Golden Rules of Dodgeball BJJ 📏

  • The Gauntlet: Stupid or stupendous? 🤷‍♂️

Who’s On Top This Week:

I feel the need…the need, for speed

Maverick

Inspired by the little angry man’s best line ever 👈, this week we are taking a look at the fastest submissions ever recorded by Tezos WNO.

Flo Grappling’s ‘Wristlocks Never Okay…*checks notes*…‘Who’s Number Oneevents pride themselves on a ruleset that pushes the pace and rewards submissions 💥 … so much so, that the best submission of the night is awarded $1000 USD in Tezos.

‘And what on god’s green earth is Tezos!?’ asks everyone who isn’t a crypto-bro 🤔. Well, think of it as digital internet money that can help you invest in unique and life-changing instruments like NFT’s 🖼 … but I digress …

The quickest submission on this list comes straight from the small and mighty B-team bandit - Nicky Ryan. He took the top spot back in 2020 with a heel hook win over Tony Ramos - in a blistering 23 seconds 🤯 

He only just edges out New Wave’s Luke Griffith who claims second spot at 24 seconds with his own heel hook victory over Haisam Rida in 2022.

It seems nothing quite gets a quick and panicked tap out of someone like trying to turn their knee inside out huh? 😳

So far, there’s only been one entry on this list for 2023 with New Wave’s Helena Crevar getting a 1 minute and 11-second tap out of Healy Dayan with a … yep … inside heel hook 🦶

With WNO 20 scheduled for October 1st, I’m sure the ever-competitive Gordon Ryan wouldn’t mind getting his name on this list and take his place back as the ‘thickest and the quickest’ of the Ryan brothers 💪💨💦 (…insert your own dodgy joke here)

Check out the full list of speedy submissions below, and if you’ve only got another 23 seconds to spare today - spend it watching this  

Source: FloGrappling

What’s Happening On The Mats:

Is Karate Just BJJ’s Attention Seeking Little Brother?

Ladies and Gentlemen … we have clickbait 🎣 

Everything from the dorky thumbnail and dodgy title to the goofy expression on this guy’s face 🥴 screams ‘click me harder’.

I tried my darndest to resist it, I truly did, but then I saw that 1.7 million other people 🤯  had already fallen victim to its siren song -so I felt it was my job … nay, my duty to figure out what’s actually going on here.

So - the TL;DR is Jesse Enkamp, YouTube black belt (& Karate black belt I guess) throws down the gauntlet and states something along the lines of … modern jiu-jitsu only ‘works’ because everyone decides to play along 🤝

Aligning with the Craig Jones and Derrick Lewis model of ‘just stand up’ - he takes his theory to a local tournament in the white division and … well … yeh, he’s kinda right 🤷‍♂️

He ends up submitting his opponent from the mount - only after the ref has stern words with him 🚫 for repeatedly just standing up and walking away from his opponent’s guard pull attempts.

I mean, the video is an obvious piss take and is actively trying to stir the pot (which I can appreciate 👍) but it raises 2 pretty good points that many others in the BJJ community echo:

  1. There is an important difference between ‘Sport BJJ’ and ‘BJJ for Self Defence’ and you’d do yourself a favour to not confuse the two 🤕 

  2. Cobra Kai is the greatest thing that Karate has ever produced without a doubt 🥷 

To finish this section up on the right note - this Karate vs. BJJ video from the early 2000s paints a preeeetty different picture 🎨

If you can dodge a wrench, you can pass the guard.

‘Did someone say pulling guard is stupid!?’ 👂

*Chris Haueter has entered the chat*

In continuing on our little exploration 🧭 of ‘Sport BJJ vs Self Defence BJJ’, it’d be damn near negligent to not hear from a certain member of the original Dirty Dozen - Chris Haueter

Chris Haueter was practising Jiu-Jitsu when most of us were still wetting the bed 😬 💦 and has racked up wins in competition and super fights all over the world for decades now 👑 

And in much the same way that there are the 5 D’s of Dodgeball (Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and Dodge), Haueter’s thousands of hours of jiu-jitsu have led him to develop his now infamous 4 Golden Rules of BJJ:

  1. Be the guy on top.

  2. When on top, stay on top.

  3. When on bottom, have a guard you shall not pass.

  4. Never forget Rule 1: do not have a game that is overly dependent on bottom guard.

In his impassioned (and frankly hilarious) speech above ⬆️ - he gives a great run down the evolution of jiu-jitsu, breaks down exactly why these are his rules and gives some great conversation-starters for the ‘sport vs. street’ debate 💪

The clip starts at the 7-minute mark and goes for about 15 - but is highly worth the watch 👁 👍

Do You Like … Money!? 🤑

I’ll go ahead and already assume you like BJJ (cos you know, you’re subscribed and all), however, if it just so happens that you also like FREE MONEY 💰 🤯 - then this is the link for you

The aforementioned juicy little link above 👆 takes you to the latest ‘Fantasy Game’ from BJJ Fanatics for the upcoming WNO 20 event on October 1st.

You may recall a few emails ago that we shared a BJJ Fanatics Fantasy Event where you could win BJJ Fanatics credits (did anyone here win that? 🧐) - well this time, the Top 3 winners take home cold hard cash 😎 

And not just ‘some spare change for your troubles’ - the prizes are:

  • 1st Place: $1,500 cash

  • 2nd Place: $500 cash

  • 3rd Place: $250 cash

To win, all you need to do is see into the future 🔮 and pick the winners, methods of victory and match timing for the October 1 WNO 20 card.

Ka-ching!

Do Less. No, Wait, Do More:

The Good Option: Make Bernardo Squeal

The Americana. 🇺🇸 One of the first subs you’ll learn at white belt - and one of the first subs you’ll stop hitting beyond white belt.

Once your opponents learn to defend it, it becomes pretty rare to catch one 🫴but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth going for - it’s one of the best ways to get a strong reaction out of your opponent that can lead to something else.

Like this 👇

The ‘Short Arm Scissor’ ✂️ by Josh Barnett.

Giving off strong ‘arm baratoplata’ 🦾 vibes, give it a try next time your training partner forgets to ‘just stand up’. Not many things make Bernado squeal and squirm like this one - so there’s gotta be something good going there 🤔 

The Not-So-Good Option: Being lashed like a medieval peasant

The Gauntlet’ remains one of the more controversial traditions that many modern BJJ gyms and coaches still latch on to.

If you haven’t seen it yet (or felt it 😬), it’s basically when all of your training partners take their belts off and form a tunnel for you to trudge down while they take turns to assault whip you as a celebration for you receiving a new belt 🤷‍♂️

Many love it and feel it’s an important rite of passage in BJJ culture, while many others think it’s archaic and refuse to participate 🙅‍♂️

Well, something that the lovers and the haters of the gauntlet will hopefully agree on is that the so-called ‘circle of death’ below is a level no one needs to go to ⛔️.

I’d be more than happy to stay 20 years as a white belt at this gym 👇

Things That Keep You Up At 2 AM:

The gauntlet.

Nothing say’s ‘congratulations on your new belt’ like having all of your teammates whip the life out of you 🤬

Just ask these gents…

Or does it? 🤨 

As we mentioned earlier - this is one of ‘ye olde traditions’ that many in the BJJ community think should go the way of other classic pastimes like smoking on aeroplanes 🛩 or using leeches to cure people 🩸

But I’m not worried what the wider BJJ community thinks - I wanna know what you think 🫵

This week’s big question: ⬇️

The BJJ Belt 'Gauntlet' - Are You A Fan?

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Last week’s results:

Last week we asked you - “Do you think it's better to drill techniques for reps? Or train out of specific positions?”

  • 80% of you said - 🤼‍♀️ Can't beat the chaos of positional training

  • 20% of you said - 🫵 Reps, reps, reps!

You chaotic wild animals 🔥 Bet there’s some soulless wristlockers amongst you too 😏

The Meme Open Mat:

Catastrophic you say Doc? Huh. I can still train tomorrow though right?’ 🧑‍🦽

It’s the fourth direction that gets ya…

Why is everybody clapping?…

This guy definitely has the unfair stalking advantage…

Think you’ve got the spiciest BJJ memes going around? Hit reply, send them through to get them featured 🔥 

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How'd We Go?

Are we on the money? Or are we lacking some pizzazz?

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